Living a New Life
by DarkRatchet
Summary: Orak's life had been ruined by Zim. Now he has become miserable and hostile, then after six months from the The Great Assigning he decides to pay a visit to earth! Warning contains swear words
1. Rejected

Living a New Life

I don't own Invader Zim but if I did I would have made those who cancelled it, eat my words and shove it down their sorry throats. This is my way of expressing my fantasies that I had for a long time, I am glad there are reruns and have grieved since it was cancelled. Please Review!"

* * *

Rejected

He stood with the others in the gathering of The Great Assigning, this was his second time he'd been here and he was annoyed because he had been through invader training and with no luck of him ever getting a chance to be assigned a planet. It made him sick was it because he took no crap from anyone and they were scared of him or was it because he was just too small.

After about four hours of standing there it was over when they insulted Skoodge of his tininess and sent him to Blorch, home of the slaughtering rat people.

"Help yourselves to some nachos, and well see you at the equipment station! One of the Tallest shouted with red eyes, known as Red.

"Yes, gorge yourselves, you mooches! The other yelled with the purple eyes, known as Purple.

He then heard someone quite familiar screaming "MOVE IT, YOUR IN MY WAY, OUT OF MY WAY! The Irken ran past him shoving him into another Irken two-times his size who he pushed off easily, the Irken backed up shaking quickly.

"Zimmm," he growled, he had nothing against him, it was just that he blew up his living quarters to dust in Impending Doom One which made him lose almost everything making him glumly walk the streets and glaring or literary punching anyone in particular who decided to say "Orak you owe me 4,000,000 monies for the damage caused by that explosion back there."

This made him receive a bad reputation that made the tallest not want to insult his small stature or have anything to do with him, so they tried to avoid him as much as possible making it impossible for him to contact them on whether he'd be assigned a mission.

Orak thought it incredibility stupid for the operating system to base them on height, he wasn't even sure if "the Tallest" were tall.

A small arm shot up waving "WAIT!"

There were a few grumbles, and which Orak was one of them, "STUPID!" he had shouted, but was ignored by Zim's main focus of getting on stage.

"Sorry I was late, my tallest," Zim said bowing his head "but I couldn't find my invitation," he looked up at them smiling "and you are lucky I've made it at all."

"You weren't invited at all," Red said.

"Hey, weren't you banished to Foodcourtia?" asked Purple "shouldn't you still be frying something."

Orak couldn't help but stifle a giggle at the mention of Foodcourtia a planet that Zim was forced and banished to work on serving other alien species fast-food.

"Oh, I quit when I found out about this," Zim said feeling proud of himself.

"You quit being banished?" Purple replied ecstatic.

"The assigning is over, Zim," Red said getting annoyed.

"But you can't have an assigning without me! Zim complained. "I was in Impending Doom One! Don't you remember?"

"Oh, yes we remember," Purple groaned.

That triggered Orak to remember how depressing it was after paying over 34,000,000,000 monies for everything he'd lost causing him to go into a deep depression. He closed himself in a rented building, found a corner and curled himself in a tight ball for days.

After that he was never the same, he was extremely hostile and either growled, ignored or sent anyone who approached him packing. But he also found more pleasure in taunting and insulting others and thanked Zim just for one thing, for at least hardening him.

Both of the tallest and everyone else remembered the moment too clearly since he destroyed the good half of the planet Irk and gave Zim cold and unfriendly looks.

"I put the fires out," Zim said as an excuse.

"You made them worse," Red replied annoyed.

"Worse or better?" Zim said cocking his head and raising an antennae smiling. Orak balled up his fist trying to stop himself from stomping up there and shoving his fist in his face.

"Uh," Purple groaned "besides no invader has ever been so…very small. You're very small, Zim. You're a tiny thing."

But, Invader's blood marches through my veins like...Giant radioactive rubber pants," Zim begged "Do not ignore my veins!"

Orak groaned and slapped himself on the forehead for Zim's comment on radioactive pants, but he was right about one thing the Tallest did discriminate against small Irkens, welcome to his world.

The Tallest glanced at each other and sighed, then Red pulled out a sandwich "as a show of … um gratitude for your services in the past, er, here's a sandwich."

"B...But-," Zim stuttered.

That was it, Orak burst out in laughter and punched the Irken nearest to him in the shoulder "A sandwich, a freakin sandwich they gave him a sandwich, you see that a sandwich!"

The Irken rubbed his shoulder "Uh-huh," he nervously grinned trying not to bring down the ongoing wrath of Orak upon him.

"Thanks for coming everybody!" the tallest Purple yelled ending The Great Assigning. "Goodnight!"

"NO, WAIT!" Zim hopped up and down waving his sandwich frantically to attract their attention.

"What, you got your sandwich," Purple said.

"My Tallest, I want an opportunity to prove I truly can be an invader is all that I ask!" he said hugging the sandwich "Gimme."

The two Tallest faced each other whispering and conversating amongst themselves "We see now that you are truly deserving," Red inquired.

"Yes, yes I am," Zim said still hugging the sandwich.

"You will be sent to a planet so mysterious, no one has ever heard of it!" Purple said.

"Right! And those who have heard of it dare not speak its name!" Red replied.

Orak couldn't believe it, they were actually going to give Zim a planet, Zim and not him, and if their was anyone deserving it would be him.

"What's its name?" Zim asked.

"Oh, I dare not speak it!" Red said.

"Where is it?" Zim said.

"Um…" Red went towards a map of the universe in the back of the stage to the very edge, and pointed where a sticky note with a drawing of planet with a question mark on it. "Here!"

When Red pointed to the sticky Orak then realized the Tallest true intentions that were in store for Zim, because anyone smart enough knew that sticky was used in invader training classes.

"A secret mission," Zim said.

"Happy now?" Red said hopefully to get Zim off they're backs.

"Yes," Zim said smiling revealing his sharp teeth.

* * *

Six months pasted with Orak struggling to pay his debts, all the time he was becoming more depressed and angrier.

He was glumly kicking the dirt with his boots and grumbling a few curses in Irken while he went to control a compacter for crushing the remains that was left on the long destroyed half of Irk and there would be some random idiot that thought it funny to walk in the middle of his job making it difficult to work.

He got so fed up that he didn't care, that random Irken got killed instantly as the walls of the impacter came upon him quickly, there was sickening crunch, Orak grinned at that and stopped when the blood hit him in the face then he wiped it off in disgust.

Orak couldn't take it any more he had to leave anywhere away from here, then he had an idea he could go where no one else would look, the planet Zim was banished to.

Everyone heard of and saw that Zim was given a Fake mission and he had a chance to get away from all of this maybe even settling down for a little, so Orak decide he was going to the mystery planet the Tallest referred it to, even now they learned it was earth, and at first he thought they were bluffing but know this is some place to look into.

He had sent a dozen messages begging for a mission, with a few threats since they decided to ignore him.

Orak went to his voot cruiser which looked similar to the rest and it blended in well in the Armada, this time he was happier than ever and couldn't care less what the Tallest would do or say, he also always wanted a SIR unit but he would have to go on without one unless he jacked another invader of theirs but they all would had left by now, he launched his ship out and away from the Irken Empire towards earth.


	2. Decisions

Living a New Life

I am deciding to switch to first person after the prologue and if it's better in third person please let me know kay, don't worry WAFFLES ARE INCLUDED

* * *

Decisions

I had decided to turn around and go back to the massive because I could not take the so called ALMIGHTY TALLEST ignorance, my cruiser approached the large ship and since I really wanted a SIR unit bad I would have to take one by force.

Oh how I wanted to strangle the Tallest for not paying any attention to me and all I just need are some stilts to reach them just to do it, well at least Tallest Purple. I had a feeling it was all his idea to ignore my messages, and I warned them if they kept doing it I was going to steal most of the Irken snacks and shoot Purple in the eye.

I landed in the massive and walked out calmly, watching a few other Irkens that I really couldn't tell the difference from. To me everyone looked the same and I could only tell by their voice, but I wasn't exactly the social type and so I hardly knew anyone except those that bugged me over my debts.

Everyone ignored me like I wasn't even there; I personally didn't care and thought it better not to be seen because it gave me a better chance of shooting Purple, grab a SIR unit, and steal a few snacks then go.

I walked in easily without being noticed, and spotted the Tallest laughing and both eating nachos and doughnuts while they watched Skoodge get shot out an airlock to Blorch, I could have sworn he was sent to Blorch already after these six months.

Right now I didn't care I was going to beat the shit out of Purple before I obtained my SIR unit.

"Hey, my ALMIGHTY TALLEST good to see you're having fun, eating some nachos I see! I said calmly, narrowing my eyes to slits and baring my teeth.

They both stiffened and their eyes went towards me "ORAK! They both jumped

"How'd you get here? Purple's voice was shaking.

Red leaned over to Purple and whispered "We have to get rid him, you distract him and I will call some guards to throw him down the incinerator."

"Wh-what… why me, he's scary! Purple protested.

"Good luck Purp, hope you come out in one piece! Red shouted on purpose with a grin.

Purple looked towards me nervous "he-he um good to see you Orak. "Um sorry for not answering the voice mail, we were busy….Please don't hurt me!"

I didn't care for what he was saying I ran up to him forgeting the stilts part and jumped on top of him, I made sure that it was the face and started beating him to a pulp.

"Help! Purple shouted in between screams "he's a monster!"

Red laughed and pointed at Purple getting beat up, screaming. "Alright whew… get some guards in here pronto! Red chuckled wiping a tear away.

I managed to hear Red call for guards and decided to leave; I knew they were going to throw me in a garbage shoot or something like that.

I gave Purple one last punch in the face "I hope you liked your little present I gave you!" I spat.

I turned around and ran towards the equipment station leaving Purple twitching on the ground in fear.

It was easy to find the equipment station thanks to the large arrows painted on the walls and giant words written in Irken "equipment station this way."

I ran into a small group before entering the equipping area and the guards ran past me, not even recognizing me in the group, you would think they would question or interrogate the group to find me, how stupid were they? Oh well thank Irk that we mostly look the same.

That equipping station was huge, but SIR units were easy to find because of they were hanging from a railing that was unmoving. I grabbed the nearest one and decided to activate it once I escaped this horrible place of unending DOOM!

But before I escaped, I walked past some sleeping guards guarding the snack vault "Stop your not supposed to sneak those, that's my popcorn!" a guard grumbled.

I froze in fear that I've been caught and waited for my certain doom, but nothing happened. I turned my head slowly and was relieved; the guard was talking to himself in his sleep.

I grabbed a whole wad of Irken snacks screaming after I left the vault "SCORE ONE FOR ORAK, AND ZERO TO THE TALLEST!"

I dashed through the Massive quickly, boarding my ship and escaping and it was funny too. No one seemed to have noticed that I ran past them even with a stolen SIR unit and a load of snacks, they all ignored me including the guards. Do I really blend in the background that good?

I didn't care. I rid myself of that dreaded place and was headed towards paradise and with snacks too. I didn't want to be sitting here for months without any company so I decided to activate it, I looked in it's head for the switch and noticed that some of the mechanisms in the SIR were fried and were in awkward positions.

"No….I can't believe this, I grabbed a defective SIR!" I wanted to slap myself for rushing, if I had known that no one notice me I would have grabbed a normal well functioning SIR. No, it might not be defective; maybe that's what it's supposed to look like," I lied to myself.

I sighed, if this was the only thing that would keep me sane during the long journey towards earth, then activating it, is the only option.

He had experienced insanity before, after Impending Doom when he was curled up in a corner; it was like descending into a world of oblivion and a never ending emptiness, and it was horrible.

I shivered at the thought of that, and gingerly flipped the switch that activated it. I stared at it, waiting for the SIR to jump up at my face and destroy all the important components in my ship….nothing. I knew there was something wrong, but with it not turning on was unexpected and too horrible to even bare.

I decided to look through the window and pick out what shapes the stars made, when I heard a sound. A turned around swiftly to be met with glowing red eyes that happened to belong to the SIR unit, it stared at me and I was frozen in shock.

The SIR broke the silence "Hi there, what's your name?" it said in a high-pitched female voice with a huge grin attached to "her" face.

I wanted to faint, the unit didn't even talk with any authority, instead it was a short and simple friendly greeting with no sense that I was supposed to be it's master.

I nervously answered the greeting even when it was most uncomfortable "Um hi, my name is Orak," I wanted to smack myself for sounding so unprofessional.

"Orak…..that's a nice name," she giggled girlishly.

I broke out in a screaming fit, and made like I wanted to stay as far away from "my" SIR unit by pressing myself against the glass of my cruiser, wailing uncontrollably.

"Are you ok Orak, is there something wrong?" she asked with worried look.

I stopped making like I wanted to run away, all I had to do was train it to be obedient and it shouldn't be hard with her behavior, at least I hoped so "Ok, let's get this straight!" I said in a serious tone.

She automatically jumped up happily when I stopped having my fit "YES!"

"You are to call me master, got that," I said harshly.

"Ok," was the answer I received which made me slightly baffled by her easy behavior and that smile was extremely creepy.

"And I think I'll call you Fefi," that was the only name I could think of, because I wasn't expecting to receive a hyper active defective SIR. I was right about her being hyper active because she screamed and hugged me just because I gave her a name.

Then all of a sudden she stood at attention in the way I would expect all SIR's to act, "Fefi, at your service master."

I couldn't believe it, did she turn normal I thought to myself, but I was wrong when she reverted back to her giggling self and started pointing at the stars or anything that we flew past, screaming "what's that and what's that button do."

I had to slap her several times to tell her not to touch things, but Fefi seemed to forget and do the same thing over again. I had to put up with the terrible defective robot for six months.

* * *

Six months later…

My head was against the controls, I was completely tired of Fefi's constant babbling about mostly pretty things, when the computer warned me of an incoming planet.

I snapped my attention towards the planet and I grinned with personal satisfaction "look Fefi, we've finally arrived!"

"It's so preeety," Fefi said dreamily, she ran over with her face pressed close to the window, staring at the blue planet.

I was a little side-tracked to notice that an asteroid was headed towards us at a high speed until it was too late; curse my computer from not detecting it.

I was pressed against my seat trying to steer the ship, but unable to concentrate with Fefi grabbing me and screaming in my face "WE'RE GOTTA DIE, NO I'M TO YOUNG TO DIE!" she screamed, tightening her grip.

I gasped, "Fefi I can't breathe," she was squeezing me so hard that my PAK couldn't even function right. By time she let go, I had a mouthful of dirt in my mouth and a terrible headache "Uh, what just happened?"

"WE CRASHED, AND SURVIVED YAY!

"Fefi be quite, we're in human territory now," I hissed, thinking of how many horrible possibilities of torture the humans can do if we were discovered.

I sighed and looked around; there were trees everywhere with a few human devices for some sort of reason I couldn't figure out, there were benches around this area and a lot of plant life.

But it seemed like there wasn't anyone here, I was relieved and walked over to my ship "computer I would need a disguise," I looked over in Fefi's direction who was now chasing a moth "and also along with Fefi," I grumbled.

I looked over the disguises, I didn't really liked any of them but I decided finally to chose a kid with black short hair that lied down loosely that covered one of the eyes, the eyes were purple, and had more of a emo look.

I received a holographic disguise and activated it quickly, and I saw Fefi perk up "m-master is that you?" she walked up to me confused.

"Yes this is me, now it's your turn."

She stood there gawking at me, then she started screaming "Yey, I wanna be a weasel!"

"No, and be quite, you'll attract attention," I growled.

"Awww," she made a sad face and shuffled looking down at her feet.

I ignored her attempt to deceive me and looked for a disguise. I found one a bobcat, I liked it because it looked tough and it suited Fefi.

I showed it to Fefi, and she squealed "it's sooooo cute."

I didn't take long to get Fefi in disguise, when she was in it she started hugging herself "I love myself."

I groaned at that and walked towards my cruiser to start up a base, when the asteroid that hit us fell on top of my voot cruiser, crushing it.

I stared at the terrible scene, how can things get any worse, and then I fainted.

After a few weeks voot cruiserless, me and fefi learned more about earth on something called the internet, I managed to buy or convince a real estate manager to give me a house. And it was terrible because Fefi learned of something called waffles, and had grown a habit of making them, then she would force me eat them and if I refused she would scream in a unending fit.

I found out that earth wasn't paradise, it was a living nightmare, and worst I had to attend skool the next day.


	3. Skool of Doom

Wow that took a long time; I'm usually the one to update every other day. Curse writers block!

Living a New Life

Skool of Doom

I had been restless because of the dreadful day of first starting skool. I had looked up and researched human behavior for a week and practiced with Fefi. So far I was pretty good at mimicking them, but regretted ever coming here in the first place because this place was like hell.

The humans were the most pathetic pieces of filth that I ever encountered, and let alone extremely stupid, there was one word I could describe the humans as DUMBASSES.

I was a sad excuse for an Irken because I created a base, using supplies that came from Radio Shack and what I had stored in my PAK. It looked like the most stupidest base in Irken history and was really easy for a human to locate if they came in my house, which I severely forbid.

I walked past the kitchen and got a whiff of something, WAFFLES! I darted for the door hoping to get out of the house without Fefi noticing. TOO LATE she stood there holding a full plate of waffles, geeze how'd she get there that fast.

"No, Fefi I don't want any waffles," I said strictly. "Move I have to go to skool now!"

"But I made them especially for you," She whined, then she started screaming "Eat them, they're for youuuuuuuuu!" she literally shrieked making my holo-graphic disguise waver.

I covered my aching antennae, wincing "Alright I'll eat them!"

"Ok!" She gave me the plate smiling and sat down on the floor watching me.

I hated that, she would make sure I ate them all every single day and everyday there would be a surprise in each waffle. I reluctantly ate them and gagged "Ugh Fefi what'd you put in these!"

"Um let me see some flour, eggs, soap, butter, bacon, and chocolate!" she giggled, jumping up excited.

I ran straight for the bathroom and hurled in the toilet and great this is all I needed, to get sick on the first day of school.

"Are you ok master?" she walked in her indigo eyes flashing with concern.

I flushed the toilet after I finished throwing up "Uh, yes Fefi," I smiled weakly.

"Yay, how'd you like the waffles?" she brighten up.

Yeah she was that dysfunctional to realize the waffles made me hurl, "They were great!" I lied just to get her off by back.

She smiled and skipped off somewhere singing something that involved a human with a moose or lamb.

The walk to school was terrible, yesterday it rained. I was oblivious to the climate on earth and I had to find out the hard way.

I screamed my sorry ass off, my skin burning like someone threw acid on me from my daily walk to radio shack the other day when it rained.

Now I was walking around and jumping over any puddles I came across, and grumbled several curses in actual English. I heard that some humans reacted certain ways to swear words and Iwould like to test it just see what expression I would get.

As I was walking I encountered a hideous Chihuahua with a lobotomy scar and a strange right eyeball, I heard most people was afraid of it and screamed MADNESS whenever it was seen.

I guess its name was Madness; I stared at it and walked around it. Madness's creepy stare following my every move; I was relieved to rid my self of that horrible stare.

The skool was only about three blocks away from my house, so I had no need for a bus and like I would want to be on one of those infernal means of transportation anyways.

I walked into the skool and found out I was late on the first day just because of Fefi, well I was probably going to end up late in the first place because my scheduled look screwed up.

My homeroom teacher was Ms. Bitters; I've been walking through the halls for a while before I reached the class.

I sighed reached for the door an open it and was confronted by a tall, slender aged woman of unknown origin, I thought she was just a old hag.

Yet she seems to have an eerie, dark aura hanging around her and I knew for a fact she was defiantly not human.

"You're late, I would have you placed in a horrible placed of doom if it wasn't your first day," the old hag hissed literally. "Now state your horrible name, sit down, and shut up," she sneered.

"My name is Orak, we'll get along fine if you leave me alone and keep your mouth shut," I said in my most sinister voice ever and sat behind some kid with a huge head wearing a black trench coat and a stupid hair-do shaped like a swept back scythe.

The Teacher talked about how fucked up everything was by adding the words "doom" or "horrible" in every sentence.

I noticed everyone else wasn't paying any attention; instead they tossed notes across the room, doodled in their notebooks, whispering things around the room and a few of the female humans were batting their eyelashes at me, but I couldn't care any less.

I was drawing a human getting eaten by the Digester a giant beast kept for gladiatorial combat by the Irken empire and I snickered.

The kid in front of me turned around, "Hey my names Dib," he said offering a handshake I researched as a form of greeting.

I looked up from my drawing; he obliviously didn't hear what I said in the beginning of class "You got something stuck in your ears dirtbag, I said to shut up and leave me alone," I snapped glaring at him.

He stared at me his mouth gaping at me from my "friendly" greeting, but continued like I had never said anything rudely, "you know he's an alien," Dib pointed to green kid with a Elvis hair style, wearing a reddish or was it pinkish outfit that looked awfully like the standard Irken uniform.

The green kid heard him and soon jumps on top of his desk like a complete moron and screams pointing at Dib "ZIM IS NORMAL!"

When I heard the name Zim I stared at the kid more closely and my eyes momentarily widen, then I grunted, "Stupid."

Zim turned his attention to me "don't listen to Dib-stink; I'm a completely normal human worm-baby."

"Do I look like I give a fuck," I replied. Well I guess this is what happens when a human swears, I learned this what happened to you if you cursed in front of the teacher.

She materialized out of nowhere hissing and pointed to the corner. I was stuck in that corner wearing a dunce hat for the whole period until lunch.

* * *

Lunch

I was the last to leave, and well so far I hated human schools. I walked in the cafeteria and gagged at the smell, what the Irk were they serving.

When I went up there with my tray I seriously thought I saw something squirm in the food and the lunch lady if it was a female was a disgusting grease hag. I picked up a muffin, mashed potatoes, fries and milk.

I was devastated that the only tables open were next to that Dib freak and I guessed his sister. The other table was next to my old pal Zim, well I really didn't know him I just knew that he was a stuck up defect.

I decided to sit at Dib freak's table because I disliked Zim more than him. I sat down and started playing around with my food.

"Hey, Orak is it," Dib asked, and sat down next to me, he ended up with a face full of mashed potatoes.

"What do you want bighead, I'm busy?" I said annoyed, flicking one of my fries at the human.

"Hey, my head's not big!" he yelled.

"It's big enough to see in space," I said sarcastically.

His sister Gaz, who was stuck in a video snickered at my smart comment.

I also could feel that Zim was staring at me from his table, I really didn't care and all I know that I'm going to pay one of the larger more stupider humans to kick Zim's ass along with Dib freak if he didn't leave me alone.

"Sheesh, what's your problem?" Dib asked still bothering me.

I was so frustrated that I couldn't take it anymore. I punched him in the face so hard that he ended up in a place called the nurse's office; I guessed it was a place where healers came and fixed up these human scum.

My day got worse; I ended up in detention and had to write a thousand sentences why I shouldn't hit human dirt monkeys for the rest of the day.

After my horrible first day of skool I entered my house and was literally tackled by Fefi "I missed you master," she hugged me and I pushed her off, she didn't seem to notice I had a bad day, "not now Fefi," I grumbled.

"I brought you some pretty flowers!" Fefi exclaimed.

I grabbed them, walked past her, not even bothering to take off my disguise and passed out on the couch.

Fefi was happy to see her master come home, but she wasn't expecting me to fall out on her but she brought a blanket and covered me up.

* * *

Please review! Hehe I've always wanted to write what would happen if an Irken attended skool and wasn't exactly the sweet good kid siting at his seat like an angel!


End file.
